puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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