I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
