Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
