Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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