Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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