True but thats because hes a fetus.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
