u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
