he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
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I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
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I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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