It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
