Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
