Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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