I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Still dying that you shit outside
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize