Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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