sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
