you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
