If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize