I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
