Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
