Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
