Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
