i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Randomize
