More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
