I just cut my nipple shaving
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize
