Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
