Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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