she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
