You just made me feel so damn special
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
