you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
