the new term for farting is butt boxing.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
