Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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