It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
