i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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