I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
