i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
