you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
