Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
