You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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