I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
