Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
