dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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