You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
