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her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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