i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
