Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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