If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
