Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
