I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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