You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
