Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He did a backflip because drugs
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
