The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize