I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
