when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
