the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
