Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
