Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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