i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
you never un-have a 4some
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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