Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My breasts were aching with rage.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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