yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
