Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
