He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
