SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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