oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
