You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
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