Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
never play flip cup with pint glasses
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
