so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
