omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize