thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
